Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Were You There?

Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Were you there when they crucified my Lord? Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble... tremble... tremble. Were you there when they crucified my Lord?

No, of course not! That happened over two thousand years ago! And yet  my very soul trembles as I hear the question, "Were you there when they crucified my Lord?" And it is that soul trembling that causes me to reconsider -- to pause and reflect -- to search my soul... and consider could I have been there?

Were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Were you there when they nailed him to the tree? Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble... tremble... tremble. Were you there when they nailed him to the tree?
The trembling in my soul simply will not let me keep this question at arm's length any longer, and so I pause, reflect and consider my part in the suffering my Lord experienced before he was nailed to the cross and as he hung there... Oh Dear Lord, could I have participated in nailing you to the cross? Perhaps that time when I kept silent about another's suffering -- could it have been then? Oh, and there are other things too...
Were you there when they pierced him in the side? Were you there when they pierced him in the side? Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble... tremble... tremble. Were you there when they pierced him in the side?

The trembling in my soul is now companioned by my sobbing as I see that  because of my actions and lack of action, I pierced my Lord in the side as he hung lifeless on that dreadful cross. I pierced my Lord in the side by my lack of Love -- both expressed through my words and my actions. Oh that Love might forgive me...
Were you there when the sun refused to shine? Were you there when the sun refused to shine? Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble... tremble... tremble. Were you there when the sun refused to shine?
My trembling and sobbing have me on my knees helpless and overcome with the memory of all many times the Light of Christ's Love could not shine for someone else to see and experience because I chose to not be grace-filled -- gracious as you, My Lord, are gracious. I wanted to be God. Yes, Lord, I was indeed there.
Were you there when they laid him in the tomb? Were you there when they laid him in the tomb? Oh! Sometimes it causes me to tremble... tremble... tremble. Were you there when they laid him in the tomb?
I am fully overcome and overwhelmed, Lord, by the state of my soul as I attempt to answer this question. Just as the man who came searching for you under the cover of darkness because he lacked the strength of faith to live in the Light of your Love, I, too, lack strength of faith to live fully in the Light of your Love -- to love as you have loved. Could it be that the trembling I hear is not only my own gut-wrenching sobbing, but also yours? I am overcome with grief and sorrow, Lord. 
But you already know all this, Lord, don't you?
And you love me still...?
I hear your sweet melodic voice, "My dearly beloved child, it was for you and your soul that I chose the Way of the cross and I invite you, child of my heart, to choose the Way of the cross -- to choose to Love as I have loved." Faintly, and through my sobbing and trembling, I respond, "I choose Love."
And Love is enough.

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